01-Dec-2006
Woids
I find myself increasingly annoyed reading articles in newspapers and magazines, and even seeing stories on TV where reference is made to “the n-word.” Usually, it’s presented just like that whether audibly or in print. A similar, if much more long standing, circumstance occurs, of course, with “the f-word,” (or, in current slang, “the f-bomb”).
Annoying, yes, but I also find taboos such as these fascinating. I find myself wondering exactly who and what is being protected here. Are there people out there who truly have never heard these expressions, and who thus face some sort of corruption of their innocence? Please, if you mention children, then it’s clear it has been a long time since you’ve wandered the halls of an elementary school. Little old ladies? Oh my – we have grandmothers now turning themselves into suicide bombers, and most likely not because they inadvertently backed into someone’s conversational ‘fuck.’
Have we lost the distinction that reporting the news isn’t being the news? If I report that Michael Richards (Seinfeld’s Kramer), in his recent tirade, used the word ‘nigger’ seventeen times, isn’t that quite different from my calling some black people ‘nigger’ seventeen times? If, however, I report that Michael Richards used “the n-word” seventeen times, isn’t that quite inaccurate? He didn’t use “the n-word,” he used the word ‘nigger’ which is far more offensive than “the n-word.”
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Walking past the First Baptist Church recently, I was struck by a sign they’ve had up for some time now – booking themselves as “a new song church.” On the wall of the building just behind the sign is a big banner that says, “a church with a new song.” Made me wonder what they’d done with the old one. Also made me wonder why there was only one. Surely these folks must know there are hymnals out there with lots of holy tunes. Or did “song” simply mean “message”? Does it mean they have a new message now, and is the preacher going to sing the new message? I didn’t think Baptist preachers – orators all – were much given to singing.
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Speaking of words, although I’ve long gotten used to such Britishisms as “she’s gone to hospital” or “he’s enrolled at university now,” I’m a little puzzled when I turn on the television and see “the Hallmark channel” referring to itself as “Hallmark channel,” as in, “coming this fall on Hallmark channel.” I’ve also noticed the History channel beginning to do the same thing along with “TV Guide channel.”
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Continuing on, has anyone noticed the commercial for Rozerem, a sleep aid, where one of the side effects is listed as drowsiness?
Or doesn’t this sound funny even if you know what they really mean in this Sprint ad from Time Magazine – the Palm Treo “can be used as a wireless modem with the included cable.”
My favorite (current) malapropism, however, remains those package mailing boxes labeled FedEx Express. Doesn’t the company know what FedEx means?
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Fun Words
Sometimes a good word can be as effective as a good cough drop in smoothing out some of the rough moments in life. I like these words even though I couldn’t necessarily define all of them off the top of my head, let alone use every one in a proper context.
sashay, puppy, piccolo, knuckle, Milk Duds, nubbin, creamery, scruffy, fluffy, hiccup, unguent, bundle, oink, whoosh, noodle, snout, smooch, bubble
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Christmas banners in downtown Sycamore:
‘May Your Season Be Bright’
This may be a little problem unique to my town, but I don’t know. You may recall some time ago when I commented on a poster that could be found in many shop windows. It showed a drawing of a military man and woman and had the tag line: We Support Our Men and Women. At the time I thought that was either a nice general sentiment, or that “men and women” had somehow morphed into a neologism for soldier.
Anyway, the banner mentioned above is pretty – white lettering on a dark green background. It’s just that I can’t figure out what it’s supposed to mean. First, the banners will be up spanning both fall and winter so I’m pretty sure they don’t mean our meteorological seasons. If they mean “Christmas” or “holiday,” then perhaps they should say that. Of course the city banner hangers don’t want to offend anyone so they wouldn’t put either of those two words in there.
Maybe what bothers me here is that, right now, the banners don’t make sense. But if I see them up, say, in the middle of July, it’ll seem quite all right.
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Words matter. Consider this. On Saturday, November 25, we received a nice flyer in the mail advertising a great sale to be held on November 8.
G. K. Wuori © 2006
Photoillustration by the author
